Long Lost Yooper-isms

Today I was cleaning out my old writing files when I stumbled across a nondescript blue notebook. Since I’m a bit addicted to buying school supplies, that’s not unusual. When I opened the cover, however, I discovered a small stash of Yooper Stewart quotes. Based on the other contents in the notebook, I think these are about eight years old. I have no idea what inspired most of these, but they still made me laugh!

Here you go:

“Don’t give me that upper-crust, born-on-the-right-side-of-the-tracks look.”

“True Grits: The Real Story of Breakfast.”

“That could be a hillbilly love song – The Whistling Beer Bottle.”

“I like that pillow. If I was an executive, I’d buy that pillow.”

“I think the flora and fauna in my digestive tract are off.”

(I love that man!)

Smith or Robertson – You Decide

Murphy’s law – I write a post about Yooper Stewart’s camera shy ways and the next week he lets me take pictures of him. Of course.

The Sunday before Christmas, the fam took a trip to the Music House Museum. You can read all about (and see some great pictures and videos) here. The picture of YS and me started a discussion – who does Yooper Stewart look like?

Is he a Smith brother…


Or a Robertson?


You decide.


Camera-Shy Redneck

So, YooperStewart.com hasn’t turned out exactly as I expected. I thought things around here would be more regular, but apparently the prunes haven’t kicked in yet. My goal has always been to show you what it’s like to be Yooper Stewart, and I wanted that to include actual photos and videos. I’ve brainstormed a dozen ideas for blog posts, but I didn’t want to post anything until I had a visual accompaniment. Seeing as though I’m only posting once every 4-6 weeks you can guess how well that plan has worked out.

I’ve come to realize that YS is a bit camera shy. There’s no real explanation for the shyness – the reasons tend to change with the weather – but its popping up more than it used to. I think my organized ways are rubbing off on him and he’s a little embarrassed when things aren’t just-right or well-kept. Then there’s the issue of his trade secrets. He doesn’t want me to show too many of his Lego-selling tricks online. Believe it or not, he’s not very shy about is his appearance, so that’s not usually an issue.

With this sudden onslaught of shyness I’ve been hesitant to publish new posts because I’m a bit worried that my stories of Yooper Stewart aren’t enough to entertain you – I want the safety net of photos. Then again, we’re talking about Yooper Stewart, the man who recently informed me that he’s out of body wash even though I put a brand new bottle in the shower two weeks ago. I’m not really sure what’s going on there, but with those kinds of shenanigans happening I don’t think I have much to worry about.

I could tell you a hundred stories, and it’s time that I get back to that.

Always Ready, Always Prepared

Sam’s Club was made for Yooper Stewart. The man loves to be prepared for any situation. He’s doesn’t always know what he’ll need (or how much he’ll need) for possible future scenarios, so having lots of everything works well for him. His garage is a shrine to his desire to be ready.

DSC02668I’m not really sure what these are (I think they’re the glass tops of old power lines, but don’t quote me on that). I don’t know what he’s going to do with them, but he has six, just in case.

DSC02669 Why use one garbage tote when you can use three? Strange bit of info: we don’t actually have trash service at our house. As part of our village taxes, we take our garbage to the compactor station for disposal. I think YS puts the garbage bags in these until he’s ready to make a trip to the station (which I can’t imagine smells nice during the summer).DSC02670

If you’re going to have one grill, you might as well have two. These are different, though. We’re a fully equipped BBQ stop, with gas and charcoal options available.DSC02671

YS and I have been married for eight years. He’s been selling tires ever since we’ve been married. I don’t know where they come from. I don’t know how we always have them (they’re rarely from old vehicles), but these are only eight of the 12+ tires we currently own (that number doesn’t include the summer and winter tires we actually use on our cars).DSC02672Old salad containers make the BEST Lego holders (you can seal them, stack them, and still see inside to quickly find what you need). These have yet to be put to work, but I’m sure their day is coming.

As I took these photos, it occurred to me that my honey may have learned these habits from someone.

Me: Were you ever a boy scout?

YS: For a while, but I didn’t like it. You always did everything as a group, and there weren’t any girls.

So much for that idea.

Yooper Stewart’s Grocery Games

Grocery shopping: a constant test of discipline and concentration.

Yooper Stewart and I don’t have a good history of grocery shopping. One day we walked into Meijer with a list of 8-9 items. We left with a cart full of food and a $180 bill. After that I decided we shouldn’t shop together anymore. The Meijer is, unfortunately, not very close to my house, and I don’t like to drive. YS works a couple of miles from the store, so it’s tempting to send him there after work. We’ve tried this route a few times, but we still have a few kinks to work out.

1. Coupons: I’m not sure how he does it, but Yooper Stewart can’t keep track of coupons. He’s prone to leave them in his car or, my personal favorite, see a coupon for one brand of coffee creamer, but come home with the other.

2. Tired wandering: Yooper Stewart has a physical job. After work, he’s tired. Meijer doesn’t just sell food; they have garden supplies, camping gear, and Legos. It can sometimes take him over an hour to buy a dozen items.

3. Four pears, three people: YS isn’t the greatest buyer of produce. We now have three adults in our home, but he doesn’t think about that when buying fruit. He buys just enough to fill the produce bag. That often means four pears for three people, which translates into another trip to the store, which usually means another night of cruising the Lego aisle.

4. Sales: YS loves a sale. He can’t pass them up. I once asked for a bottle of antacids. He came home with five bottles (and thousands of tablets). We haven’t bought Tums in years. More recently I wanted some cream cheese. Instead of 4-5 8 oz. blocks of cheese, I ended up with 10+ 7 oz. tubs of plain and flavored cream cheese. I didn’t really need it (or want it), but at least it didn’t cost much.

We still haven’t figured out a fool-proof shopping technique, but we make it work (even if it means using honey cream cheese in the lasagna). At least it keeps dinners interesting!

“All Men Are Babies,” but Are All Women Jerks?

I had great plans for my next Yooper Stewart post, but a week with the flu has thrown off

This picture has nothing to do with the post, I just like to show pictures of Yooper Stewart.

This picture has nothing to do with the post, I just like to show pictures of Yooper Stewart.

my schedule. It’s also opened my eyes to yet another difference between my husband and me – how we deal with sickness.

Yooper Stewart is your stereotypical whiny-guy. He’s pretty sure his bout of the stomach flu is a life-ender and we should get the prayer chain started. Every ache is the worst, fever is the highest, and nose is the most congested of all time.

On top of his difficulty coping, he doesn’t know the difference between decongestants, anti-inflamatories, or cough suppressants. If I can convince him to take meds, I have to harass him to keep taking them (two Tylenol on Monday morning should be enough to battle his fever for the week, right?). It’s not that he doesn’t want to get better, it’s just that illnesses have an immaturing effect on him. It makes me crazy.

I wish I could say I handled my flu like a champ, but the truth is I was a b!%$#.

I’ve spent my time researching supplements, herbs, and medicines, so as soon as I felt the flu coming I started a daily routine of elderberry, vitamin C, oregano, raw honey, and acetaminophen. It made my three days on the couch bearable for me, but not so much for Yooper Stewart.

As a work-from-home wife, I am in charge of the day-to-day operations of our house, so when I’m down, house hold functions cease. YS tries to help out, but it’s hard during the winter. He spends eight hours at work moving tons of salt (literally) and removing snow. That leaves him pretty exhausted when he comes home, and now he has to do all of the snow removal at our house, plus the cooking and cleaning.

Normally I’m relatively understanding, but not when I’m sick. When there’s a virus roaming through my blood stream, nothing’s good enough – the floor is too dirty, presents aren’t wrapped nicely enough, and you can be sure none of it gets done fast enough. When I should be resting and drinking orange juice, I turn into Attila the Hun, storming around the house destroying those who oppose me. It’s not a pretty sight. When I start to mend, it’s a celebration for everyone.

I may give Yooper Stewart a hard time for his inability to care for himself, but I really should be more gracious. At least he’s never made anyone cry when he was sick.

Yooper Stewart in His Element

Earlier this week I found an SD card while cleaning off a book shelf. I had to plug it in to see what I had. It was quite a delight to find photos from 2006 – our first cat (Roo), my niece as a baby, the tiny house we used to rent, and Yooper Stewart’s trip to Kentucky. I wish we could afford to send him on more week-long adventures, but time and finances don’t always allow for it. Since we can’t ship him back to his comfort zone more often, I’m glad we have some evidence of his last major trip to nature. Here’s a look at a younger Yooper Stewart and some of his favorite vacation accommodations.

Bedtime - I'm pretty sure he'd rig up one of these in the basement (if we had a basement).

Bedtime – I’m pretty sure he’d rig up one of these in the basement (if we had a basement).

This is why I don't go camping with the hubs - I prefer four walls (and a floor, ceiling, coffee maker).

This is why I don’t go camping with the hubs – I prefer four walls (and a floor, ceiling, coffee maker).

I'm noticing a clothing trend...

Is it any wonder why I love this man?

Is it any wonder I fell in love with this man?

I’m noticing a clothing trend…

Forget treadmills - this is how YS likes to exercise.

Forget treadmills – this is how YS likes to exercise.

I swear to you, he owns shirts.

I swear to you, he owns shirts.

What's not to love?

What’s not to love?



The Flip-Side: Yooper Stewart’s Wife

One of the deals Yooper Stewart and I made when I started this blog was that it wouldn’t be poking fun at my hubs. I try to present my observations of this fantastic man, nothing else. In order to help him realize that this isn’t about picking on him, we’ve agreed that it might be nice to make some observations about the whole family (translation: me).

With that in mind, it’s time to come clean: I have a few quirks of my own. One of YS’s favorite quirks of mine is my feet. Specifically, my feet in bed.

I am very particular about the temperature of my feet. I can’t sleep if they’re too cold, but I also can’t sleep if they’re too hot. I learned as a child that the easiest way to regulate foot-temperature is to pop a foot out from under the covers every now and then. YS doesn’t quite understand this. Summer or winter, he wraps himself in blankets like a burrito. He might sweat out six pounds of water, but he doesn’t disengage from the covers.

The first winter we were married, it took a while to get used to the space heater under the covers beside me. I’m pretty sure I spent the entire winter with my foot peeking out from beneath the down comforter. My adoring, considerate hubby, however, thought it must be a mistake. Whenever he got up to get a drink or use the bathroom, he’d tuck my foot under the covers. I’d wait for him to crawl back into bed, then pop it back out.

No socks were harmed in the taking of this photo.

No socks were harmed in the taking of this photo.

Summers are another matter entirely. I like to be covered, but I don’t want my feet to get hot. My solution is to strategically place the sheet and blanket between mid-shin and shoulder. My little piggies don’t touch the covers. However … some days are chilly, so I might need a pair of socks. This is what really makes Yooper Stewart chuckle – me, under the covers, with my feet sticking out, wearing socks.

I can’t explain it, but it works for me, and it keeps YS entertained for months at a time.

What the Yoop Happened?!

DSC00617What the yoop?! I know I give the hubs a hard time about his facial hair, but I hate it when he shows up bald. Thankfully he’ll be his fuzzy, lovely self again in a couple of weeks.